Dear parents – NO – does not exist as a term, it bears no meaning in any communication with children under certain age.
I will write broader about that citing from the things I have discovered on the path of my evolution as a parent.
Until then, bellow, I have prepared some food for thoughts.
What follows are just some expressions, seemingly innocent, that pass by us, the adults, without creating any need for analysis. “Finally, we have been raised in the same way, and look how well we finished up”. They don’t belong to one single parent and where the expressions are addressed to the same child, the paragraph signals it. The names have been changed.
The words bellow are not complaints, they are just simple observations of what actually happens to us, our children and around us. I hope to make us constantly think about it, because this means that we are getting closer to ourselves and to the child we intend to nurse:
-You’re not allowed there!
-You’re wearing a skirt, is this nice?
-No, that is sand; I’ll have to wash your hands afterwards.
– Cathy, don’t you hear? We are leaving, I am bored (grandma). Cathy turns and slips a shy – Bye.
Slowly, Daria climbs, carefully negotiating every gesture, every change of weight …. and manages to start to push herself…falls, assesses the situation and dives into the same desire to explore….mother suddenly intervenes: Not that! You have fallen enough! Takes her tricycle and walks away. Daria follows the tricycle with her eyes….
– Do you want to go there? It can’t be, you’re too small.
– Do you want to climb up there? You’ll see it is impossible.
– You can’t do it, dear, you are backwards, it can’t be.
– It’s a little big for you, let me hold you.
– Why don’t you get up alone? You’re a big boy now. (The kid has 14 months, is hesitating and asks for support)
– We might have sense of ownership, but we are quite generous. (The baby is 12 months)
– We don’t play like this; do you want me to take your toy?
– Where did you learn to behave like this? There is a little girl near you, cant’ you see? (The little boy has 11 months)
– What is wrong with you, are you really a coward? (The baby girl is 16 months)
10 minutes of observing the adults in the playground area of the Lia Manoliu Park.
I must admit that during this time my attention was not 100% geared towards my own child.