Waking up to fatherhood…happened rather slow for me

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I have no idea how it happens for others, yet for me, becoming aware of fatherhood took a rather long path …a path which I am still strolling:)

It might have started when I was crossing California in search of spirituality, at the time when the tummy of my wife was barely changing shape. Although I was taking pictures of every new fold in her mommy to be outfit, I was still eons away from fatherhood. It went on through-out the talks of Eckhart Tolle, in the 4 days we spent in Mill Valley, it rose suddenly when we were in the intimacy of grandpa Eckhart(as we both refer to), only to dissipate in different states of awareness, yet still within presence.

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I was and still am a “becoming father”,  a rather statistic presence in the sense that I sooner support the ideas my wife brought forth (it seemed natural). What I was not really doing was to bring forth my own initiative at the quest table.

Being present around Tolle, in Mill Valley and in Assisi, is deeply rooted in my wife’s quest for a different approach to life. Yes, I was touched by the transformation, by the energy of the moment, however it was not my quest. And yes, I am aware that searching for the original source of an idea is rather a manifestation of the ego, in the same time I believe it is also a form of recognition for what things really are. This way I hope it is not my ego addressing the issue to you right now:)

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So, being a father figure for me happened while ridding the wave of not knowing, of being regularly ignorant and very likely taken by the preconceived ideas… The most important preconceived idea being that  I should deflect all responsibility towards the mother…cause you see, us men we put bread on the table…

Well any way, the wheel started spinning for me and so I took the path of parenthood and fatherhood. I can tell you that this is a rather novel and nice path, colored and joyful…opening towards an entire new universe…free of preconceived ideas if that is what you wanted it to be. A path towards real answers to aware and involved questions…

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